When I woke up this morning……..I was filled full of dread

What am I doing here…….and whose is this bed

I have vague recollections of a boozy night before

My body feels broken and I can't do this any more

I'm still out chasing women……….almost night after night

They're twenty years younger …….and they put up a fight

I need a helping hand to see the whole night through

vitamins, heart pills and a blue one to screw

I'm in a mid-life crisis and that is the truth

I'm behaving rather oddly and being a bit uncouth

I'm having a mid-life crisis

I'm reclaiming my youth

My hair is departing……….from its natural home

And growing in places……..that I can't reach to comb

My bladder's getting smaller and I can't drink a full pint

without going to the toilet, life seems so unkind

I'm in a mid-life crisis and that is the truth

I'm behaving rather oddly and being a bit uncouth

I'm having a mid-life crisis

I'm reclaiming my youth

A car's now not good enough and I need a bike.

Sporty or Harley or maybe a trike.

Leather or jeans, full faced or open,

A lottery wins needed, I'll just have to keep hoping

I'm in a mid-life crisis and that is the truth

I'm behaving rather oddly and being a bit uncouth

I'm having a mid-life crisis

I'm reclaiming my youth