I know we didn’t click when we first met
I wasn’t just playing hard to get 
previous partnerships were hard to ignore
false dawns I’d visited many times before
at first my pulse rate you didn’t raise
until I felt your tight embrace
sending both of my knees  all weak
from your light touch across my cheeks
we’ve had good times, we’ve had bad
experienced both happiness and sad
victories that we celebrate 
and one too many escapades
you were my lucky undercrackers
the cotton hammock for my knackers
but now that time has finally  come
where you’re baggy around my bum
and we have reached  that fateful day
where I have to chuck you away
so one  last hurrah before we part
a nice big wet celebratory fart.