We'll open with a line apiece and multi-part harmonies
To an audience entirely filled with hormonal yummy mummies
I'll sing about my love for you and that its just the start
Then I'll go and clench my fist and place upon my heart

I wanna be in a boy band
And make my dreams come true
I wanna moisten the knickers
Of you and you and you and you

The lyrics for a boy band are always really cheesy
Written by middle aged men who seem just slightly sleazy
Always written for the ladies the facts of love laid bare
Ironically sang by teens without pubic hair

I wanna be in a boy band
And make my dreams come true
I wanna moisten the knickers
Of you and you and you and you

Then there is the middle eight where it gets a little twee
This is where shit boys band change rhythm and the key
A short break in the singing while the ugly one breakdances
I'll stand there looking moody 'cos I'm the one they fancy

I wanna be in a boy band
And make my dreams come true
I wanna moisten the knickers
Of you and you and you and you

The fat one now stands up and does a little rap
He tries to sound all gangsta but his accent is crap
Gesticulates with his fingers as he crosses his arms
But he looks like a twat and sounds like John Barnes

I wanna be in a boy band
And make my dreams come true
I wanna moisten the knickers
Of you and you and you and you

I'll need a great big finish, so I'll stand and postulate
Grab some air, contort my face like when I ejaculate 
I'll sing like I've just shot my load and sink down to the floor
Whispering sweet nothings and leave them wanting more

I wanna be in a boy band
And make my dreams come true
I wanna moisten the knickers
Of you and you and definitely not you